Flippopotamus Pan-Apple Tart

PHOTO 1: Tart before the FLIP

PHOTO 2: Tart after the FLIP

Ingredients:

1 ANGER CRUST

5 - 6 Organic Medium Gala Apples (peeled, cored, cut into 8 wedges)

2 Tablespoon Fresh Organic Lemon Juice

1/4 Teaspoon Sea Salt

2 Tablespoon Organic Unsalted Butter

1/2 Cup Organic Raw Sugar

1 Egg White (Lightly beaten)

Instructions:

1. Prepare crust per instructions for Anger Crust. 

2. Combine peeled, cored and cut apples with 1 Tablespoon of lemon juice and 1/4 Teaspoon of salt and toss to coat. 

3. Melt 2 Tablespoons of butter in a 9 1/2 inch cast iron or stainless steel skillet over a med-high heat.  Add the sugar and remaining lemon juice; stirring constantly, cook until golden brown (3-5 min).

4. Remove pan from heat.  Arrange half the apples, rounded side down, in a circular pattern over the sugar mixture in pan.  Top with remaining apples, rounded side down.  Cook over a medium heat for 10 minutues.  Remove from heat and let stand for 10-15 min.

5. Preheat Oven to 400 degrees

6. Roll out dough into an 11-inch circle on a heavily floured surface.  Place dough over skillet and remove hanging edges; fold edge under.  Cut 4 (1 inch) slits into top of pastry.  Bake at 400 degrees for 20 mins.

7.  Half way through baking brush top of crust with egg wash.  Return to oven and continue baking at 400 degrees for another 20 mins.  Remove from oven; let stand for 5 mins (really, just 5).  Place a plate upside down on the top of the pan.  Carefully invert tart onto plate.  NOTE: I would do this over a sink)

Akerlof Pie

Market Ingredients:

Angry Crust for One-Crust 9-Inch Pie Pan

3 Organic Lemons

2 Cups Organic Maple or Cane Sugar

3 Tablespoons Organic All-Pourpose Flour

1/4 Teaspoon Sea Salt

4 Organic Eggs Lightly Beaten

1/2 Cup Organic Heavy Whipping Cream

2 Tablespoons Organic Powedered Sugar

Instructions:

1. Grate 1/2 Cup rind from lemons (all three lemons).  Remove the remaining white spoungy layer of skin and discard.

2. Slice the lemons across the grain (width wise), a bit less than 1/4 inch thick.  Discard all the seeds from the sliced lemons.  Combine rind, slices lemons and sugar in a large bowl and fold together well.  Cover and let stand at room tempurature for 24 hours. (Refrigerate for up to 2-days if you need more time)

3. Pre-heat oven to 450 degrees.  Spray pie pan with cooking oil or coat with butter.

4. Remove anger dough from fridge and roll into an 11-inch circle.  Place into 9-inch pie pan and fold edges under, and flute.

5. Remove sliced lemons from the macerated lemon mixture. Add flour, salt, and lighly beaten eggs to lemon mixture and stir with whisk until combined.  Pour lemon mixture into crust and bake at 450 degrees for 15 minutes.

6. Reduce oven tempurature to 375 degrees.  Cover edges of piecrust with foil (this is a bit trick-sy) and bake at 375 degrees for 25 - 30 minutes; until the filling is set.  Remove from oven and cool completely on a wire rack.

7. Combine cream and powdered sugar. Beat with mixer at high speed until stiff peaks form.  Serve with pie.

Calories: 280 (32% from fat); Fat 9.9 grams; Protein 4 grams; Carbs 36 grams; Fiber 4 grams; Chol. 86 mg; Iron .4 mg; Sodium 129 mg.

Hundredgrounderpounder Loaf

This is a 10; Anger Scale 1-10; 10 being truly ANGREE.

Ingredients:

1 Cup Organic Stone Ground Whole Wheat Flour

1 Cup Organic Rye Flour

1 Cup Organic Corn Meal

1 Cup Organic Thompson Seedless Raisins

1 Cup Organic Walnut Halves

2 Teaspoons Baking Soda

1/2 Teaspoon Sea Salt

2 Cups Organic Lowfat Buttermilk

3/4 Cups Molasses

2 Tablespoons Butter, Melted

1 Tablespoon Organic Organge Rind (Optional)

Instructions:

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees

2. Measure and sift together flours, baking soda, and salt into bowl.  Then add the raisins and walnuts and toss into flour.

3. In a seperate bowl; combine buttermilk, molasses, melted butter and orange rind and stir.

4. Add the wet to the dry mixture and stir just until moistended.  Pour into a 9x13 bread pan that has been sprayed with cooking oil or coated with butter.

5. Tightly cover with foil and place pan in a 13x9 inch baking dish.  Add boiling water to a depth of 1 inch.   Cover the larger pan with foil.

6. Bake at 350 degrees for 1 hour and 10 minutes.  Bring the tempurature to 400 degrees and bake for another 15 minutes or until a knife inserted into the center comes out pretty clean.  (Top of bread will feel slightly sticky).  Remove pans from water.  Cool10 minutes on a wire rack.  Remove from pans; cool completely.  

This bread is Angry Dense ;-)

12 Servings; 124 Calories per serving (14% from fat); 1.9g Fat; 2.5g Protein; 25g Carbs; 1.9g Fiber; 5mg Chol.; 1.1mg Iron; 190mg Sodium

Anger Pie!

Angry Crust

Ingredients:

2 1/2 Cups Organic Whole Wheat Pastry Flour

3 Teaspoons Organic Cane Sugar or Maple Sugar

3/4 Teaspoon Salt

1/2 Cup Firm Organic Unsalted Butter

1/4 Cup Organic Vegetable Shortening 

5 to 8 Tablespoons cold water 

Instructions:

1. Sift all dry ingredients together.  Add Butter and Shortening and toss to coat the fats with flour.

2. Cut fats into flour until particles are size of small peas. 

3. Add 1 tablespoon at a time drizzling it in around the rim of the bowl.  Use a kitchen fork to push mixture to the center with each addition.  Do this around the entire bowl.  As more water is added clumps of dough will form.  The lumps will become larger with each addition.  Add the final tablespoon of water, a teaspoon at a time.  Now feel the dough with  your hands; it should feel cool and slightly moist.

NOTE: To determine if the mixture has enough water, gather some in your hand and press it against the bowl to see if it will hold together.  If not, add more water sparingly, about 1 teaspoon at a time, adding only enough for it to form a mass.  Too much liquid and/or overworking the dough will toughen it.

4.With floured hands, gather dough against the side of the bowl.  Divide evenly into two, forming two balls. Flattened balls (heh, I said balls) into two 4-5 inch disk.

5. Dust the disks generously with flour, then score with the side of your hand to relax the gluten.  Cover with plastic wrap.  Chill in the refrigerator for 30 minutes or longer before using.

NOTE:  The dough will keep for up to 3 days in the refrigerator, 6 months in the freezer.  To thaw, remove from freezer to refrigerator.   Thaw overnight or at least 12 hours before using.

6. After the resting period, roll pastry 2 inches larger than inverted pie plate with floured rolling pin.  If using after the filling is prepared from the recipe below, place the rolled dough on parchment paper and store in the fridge until filling is prepapared.

7. Fold pastry into fourths; place in pie plate. Unfold and ease into plate, pressing firmly against bottom and side.  FOR TWO-CRUST PIE: Turn desired filling into pastry-lined pie plate. Trim overhanging edge of pastry 1/2 inch from rim of plate. Roll other round of pastry. Fold into fourths and cut slits so steam can escape.

Good Ole'-Fashioned Angry Inside The Pie

Ingredients:

Angry Crust for Two-Crust 9-Inch Pie Pan

1 Organic Lemon

1/3 cup Organic Maple Sugar

1/4 Cup Organic Whole Wheat Flour

1/2 Teaspoon Fresh Ground Nutmeg

1/2 Teaspoon Ground Cinnamon

1/8 Teaspoon Sea Salt

8 cups Thinly Sliced Organic Granny Smith Apples (about 8 medium apples)

Instructions:

1. Peel and slice apples, making sure to remove the core (unless you are really angry).  Sprinkle with fresh lemon juice and toss.

2. Heat oven to 425 degrees.  Turn pastry out to pie pan.

3. Mix sugar, flour, nutmeg, cinnamon and salt in large bowl.  Stir in apples.  Turn into pastry lined pie plate.  Dot with butter.    Cover with top crust that has slits cut in it.  Seal and flute.   

4. Cover edge with 3 inch strip of foil to prevent excessive burning.  Remove foil during the last 10 min. of baking. 

5. Bake 40-50 min. or until crust is brown and juice begins to bubble thought slits in crust.  

8 servings; 395 calories each

Dutch Apple Pie: Prepare 9-inch pie as directed above, except make extra large slits in the top crust.  Five minutes before end of baking time, pour ½ cup heavy whipping cream through slits in crust.  Serve 

warm.  415 calories.

French Apple Pie: Prepare pastry for 9-inch One Pie Crust.  Turn apple mixture into pastry-lined pie plate.  Omit butter.  Sprinkle apple mixture with Crumb Topping (below).  Cover topping with aluminum foil 

during the last 10 minutes of baking.  Bake 50 minutes. Serve warm.  460 calories.

Crumby Day Topping, Just Because:

1 cup all-purpose flour

½ cup packed brown sugar

½ cup firm butter

Mix together in a bowl until crumbly.

Modified Scrapy Bread...Less Ouchy, Still Scrapy

Preferment Ingredients
3 1/3 Cups Organic Whole Wheat Flour
1 1/4 Cups Filtered Warm Water 
1/2 Tablespoon Sea Salt
1/4 Teaspoon Organic Instant Yeast

Preferment Instructions:
1. Put the yeast in warm water (85 degrees) and stir. Sift flour and salt together in a bowl and pour in the yeasted water. Mix until the flour is hydrated, adding more water only if necessary. 

2. Cover the bowl with plastic wrap and leave the pre-ferment out at room temperature overnight (up to 16 hours).  If you need more time before baking put it in the refrigerator to rest.

1. Sifted flour with well made in middle

2. Yeasted water poured into well for mixing

3. Spoon mixed ingredients before kneading begins

4. The next morning after 12 hours of prefermentation

5. Inner texture at it is being pulled apart for kneading into final dough

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Final Dough Ingredients
2 Cups Organic Unbleached Bread Flour 
1 Cup Organic Whole Wheat Flour

1 Tablespoon Virgin Olive Oil

1 Tablespoon Raw Organic Agave Nectar
1 1/2 Cups Filtered Warm Water * measured total liquid volume including oil and agave
1/2 Tablespoon salt
1/2 Teaspoon Organic Instant Yeast
All of the Preferment

Final Dough Instructions:

1. Put the yeast, oil, and agave nectar in a measuring cup.  The add the warm water (85 degrees) until it measures 1 1/2 cups and stir

2. Sift all of the dry ingredients together in a mixing bowl

3. Make a "well" in the center of the flour and pour in yeast mixture

4.  Using a wooden spoon and stirring  from center, fold flour mixture into water mixture

5. Using your hands once the water is absorbed, start kneading the rest of the flour into the dough.  You may need to add another tablespoon or two...I typically don't need to though.  If you're at high altitude you will need to add about another 1/4 cup of water to compensate for the drier conditions.

6. Once the final dough has absorbed all the ingredients, begin to chop the pre-ferment up into small pieces and mix or knead it into the final dough until they are thoroughly combined. Mix and knead dough by hand for about 10 minutes. At the end of that time the dough is still tacky to the touch (not sticking to bowl though), the new and old dough aren't perfectly combined-- you can still see a few streaks of the lighter colored pre-ferment in it-- but they are sufficiently combined that loaves bake evenly.

7. Place the dough back in a greased bowl and ferment for 2 1/2 hours, punching down or *folding the dough twice during that time (every 45 min).

*Folding the dough consists of taking the dough out of the bowl, spreading it out a little on a clean surface, folding it in thirds like a letter, rotating it 90 degrees and folding it up again, and then returning the dough to the bowl and covering it again. Like punching down, folding degases the dough some, but it also encourages gluten development.

8. At the end of the fermentation, divide the dough into two pieces and preshape each into a ball. Cover with a clean towel and let each rest for 5 to 10 minutes before shaping into the final shape. 

9. Once shaped, cover the loaves with a clean towel and set aside for a final rise, approximately 1 1/4 to 1 1/2 hours.

10. 20 mins before the end of the final rise, begin preheating the oven to 450 degrees. If you are using a baking stone, preheat it as well.

11. Right before placing it in the oven, score the loaves. Place them in the oven and use whatever technique you use to create stream in the oven (squirt bottle, skillet full of hot water, etc) to encourage proper crust development.

12. After 20 minutes of baking, rotate the loaves 180 degrees so that they'll bake evenly. Bake until an instant read thermometer reads around 200 degrees, which took approximately 35 minutes for  ("football") shaped loaves.

Crumby Day Rustic Bread

Preferment Ingredients
1 lb. bread flour (3 1/2 cups)
9.5 oz. water (1 1/4 cups)
1/2 tablespoon salt
1/8 teaspoon instant yeast

Preferment Instructions:
1. Put the yeast in warm water (85 degrees) and stir. Sift flour and salt together in a bowl and pour in the yeasted water. Mix until the flour is hydrated, adding more water only if necessary. 

2. Cover the bowl with plastic wrap and leave the pre-ferment out at room temperature overnight (up to 16 hours).  If you need more time before baking put it in the refrigerator.

********************************************************************************

Final Dough Ingredients
10 oz. bread flour (2 1/2 cups)
6 oz. whole wheat or rye flour or a mixture of them (around 1 1/2 cups)
12.5 oz. water (1 1/2 cups)
1/2 tablespoon salt
1/2 teaspoon instant yeast
all of the preferment

Final Dough Instructions:

1. Put the yeast in warm water (85 degrees) and stir

2. Sift all of the dry ingredients together in a mixing bowl

3. Make a "well" in the center of the flour and pour in yeast mixture

4.  Using a wooden spoon and stirring  from center, fold flour mixture into water mixture

5. Using your hands once the water is absorbed, start kneading the rest of the flour into the dough.  You may need to add another tablespoon or two...I typically don't need to though.  If you're at high altitude you will need to add about another 1/4 cup of water to compensate for the drier conditions.

6. Once the final dough has absorbed all the ingredients, begin to chop the pre-ferment up into small pieces and mix or knead it into the final dough until they are thoroughly combined. Mix and knead dough by hand for about 10 minutes. At the end of that time the new and old dough aren't perfectly combined-- you can still see a few streaks of the lighter colored pre-ferment in it-- but they are sufficiently combined that loaves bake evenly.

7. Place the dough back in a greased bowl and ferment for 2 1/2 hours, punching down or *folding the dough twice during that time (every 45 min).

*Folding the dough consists of taking the dough out of the bowl, spreading it out a little on a clean surface, folding it in thirds like a letter, rotating it 90 degrees and folding it up again, and then returning the dough to the bowl and covering it again. Like punching down, folding degases the dough some, but it also encourages gluten development.

8. At the end of the fermentation, divide the dough into two pieces and preshape each into a ball. Cover with a clean towel and let each rest for 5 to 10 minutes before shaping into the final shape. 

9. Once shaped, cover the loaves with a clean towel and set aside for a final rise, approximately 1 1/4 to 1 1/2 hours.

10. 20 mins before the end of the final rise, begin preheating the oven to 450 degrees. If you are using a baking stone, preheat it as well.

11. Right before placing it in the oven, score the loaves. Place them in the oven and use whatever technique you use to create stream in the oven (squirt bottle, skillet full of hot water, etc) to encourage proper crust development.

12. After 20 minutes of baking, rotate the loaves 180 degrees so that they'll bake evenly. Bake until an instant read thermometer reads around 200 degrees, which took approximately 35 minutes for  ("football") shaped loaves.

Mad Sourdough Starter - The Angry Basics

First Things First

1. Use non-metal container (stone, plastic, glass

2. Wooden, ceramic or plastic spoon

3. Wooden, ceramic or plastic bowls

4. Do not use chlorinated tap water

5. Let all ingredients come to room temp before using

NOTES:
95 degrees WILL KILL THE STARTER.
85 degrees is the ideal temp.
An oven light may be approx 85 degrees.
Check temp with thermometer.

6. A "warm place" means between 80-85 degrees

7. A clear yellow liquid on the top of starter is normal. Stir it back into the starter. HOWEVER if it exceeds 1/4 of the total starter volume then mix it back in and discard 1/2 of the total starter volume. Replace with an equal volume of equal parts of flour and water.

8. Feed the starter every two weeks if it is not used. Feed by mixing the starter, discarding 1/2 total volume. Replacing with an equal amount of a 50/50 mixture (by volume) of flour and water.

9. FOR MORE SOUR FLAVOR: Either proof your primary batter longer (12 hours) or proof your starter longer.

Starting the Starter

Ingredients:

• 2 Cups organic unbleached white flour
• 2 Cups filtered/bottled warm water (85-90 degrees)

1. Combine flour and water in a warm non- metal bowl. Use a non-metal spoon to stir mixture until smooth (no lumps). Cover the container with plastic wrap and place it in a warm, draft free area (80-85 degrees) for 24 hours.

2. Stir at least twice during this period. Your starter should be bubbly and give off a delicious sour, yeasty aroma. Its consistecy will be that of a light pancake batter.

3. If starter is not fully developed, stir the starter again, pour off 1/2 of total volume and replace with equal amount of 50/50 mixture (by volume) flour and water and let sit in the covered container for another 12 - 24 hours in a warm, draft free place. Repeat until results are attained.

4. Once you've acheived the desired bubbly, sour, yeasty, pancacke batter consistency noted above; then cover the sourdough container and put it to "rest" in the refridgerator for 24 hours before using.


Sourdough Battered

1. Sourdough batter is the basic ingredient in all soudough recipes. It must be made approx. 8-12 hours before use. To make the batter...

2. Remove your shourdough starter from your refrigerator and allow to reach room temperature.

3. Measure out 1 & 1/2 cups starter into a warm 2 quart bowl. Return the remaining starter to the refrigerator.

4. Add 1 & 1/2 cups of flour and approximately 1 cup warm water (85 degrees) and mix well. Since all flours are different, add only sufficient water to make a batter the consistency of a light pancake batter.

5. Cover the bowl lightly to prevent drying and let the sourdough batter to proof for 8-12 hours at 85-90 degrees. When the batter is properly proofed, its surface will appear bubly and it will exhibit a strong, pungent, sour odor.

6. After proofing, measure out the amount called for in the recipe and return the remaining batter to the starter pot. Stir and refrigerate.

Voila!